(Don't) say it with flowers...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
Happy Valentines Day to those who celebrate, and Happy Singles Awareness Day to those who don't.

I never gave a lot of thought to Valentines Day. I remember celebrating it as far back as I can remember. My dad always gave me a cardboard heart full of chocolate, and my mom would get the same usually with flowers. It was the one day of the year when you could tell yourself  'oh, maybe he does love me.'

Which is why I probably never gave it much thought after that. High School and College found me mostly celebrating Singles Awareness Day. The day never did live up to its hype.

When I got married, well I remember that first Valentines together, newly engaged, riding high on the bliss of love and obsession. It was memorable in every way the previous ones hadn't been.

The years passed. We had kids. The kids loved all holidays that involved gifts of any kind so this was a fun day at our house. Special dinners and desserts, flowers, candy. What's not to love?

But as I got older I realized that Valentines Day didn't hold much of any special meaning for me. I know that makes it sound like it is disappointing and that's not it at all. I am a girl. I LOVE flowers. Any day, any kind, any occassion. I like giving them- I like getting them.

But I also knew that if I didn't feel like it was Valentines Day almost every other day of the year- the flowers wouldn't mean much on that one day. And I suppose that is where this all came into focus this morning. My dad didn't treat my mother or I well on any other day of the year- but we somehow deluded ourselves into believing his effort on that one day of the year meant something so meaningful it erased all the others.

It never did.

Whether you give jewelry or chocolates or flowers or lingere or whatever else you give on this the most romantic of all holidays...make sure it's not a one day a year thing. If you're going to say it- say it always, every day, every moment. Say it with your actions- say it with the way you treat the people you love every day- say it with words and glances and touches. I am blessed to say I do get all of that every day.

I'd rather have that than flowers any day of the year- even Valentines Day.


  1. When Mom became bedridden i started bringing home flowers to put at her bedside. Seemed like the right thing to do for a botanist who could no longer walk among the plants she loved.

    Later, after she was gone I realized i should have done that all along.

    Diane is right: make you life special. Then all the days will be special.


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