My dog's true agenda

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

After El Kaiser Guapo wrote about our cat's true agenda, it occurred to us we had never written about the dog. I am hereby offering you the daily thoughts our dog has.

1. I have a ball and I think it would be a good idea if you threw it.
2. Have you seen this ball? You want to throw this ball, don't  you?
3. I see you're awake. Have you considered throwing a ball this morning?
4. I want to go outside. You should come outside and throw the ball.
5. You're home! I must maul you to show my affection.
6. I know I'm a girl, but humping is a good thing, isn't it?
7. I'm pretty sure the cat is my best friend. She keeps trying to swipe my face.
8. I will cry once I'm outside until you come out to throw the ball- and then I will repeat it all over again.
9. Did you see me teach that ball a lesson? That ball is totally my bitch.
10. There are people here- can I be a part of the moment? Any legs need humping?
11. Someone I don't recognize walked by the house. They are after my balls! Kill them!
12. See how sweet I'm sitting here? Give me cheese!
13. I'm not sure you've noticed, but I put a ball on your lap. And I was wondering if there was something you wanted to do with it. Perhaps throw it high velocity? I'm just spit-balling here.
14. If I put my slobbery ball in your crotch, will you recognize my desire for you to throw it?
15. I'm going to go lay down by the door and pout until you throw my ball.
16. Did the cat just drink out of my bowl?
17. I just left the ball inside and will cry and until I get it.
18. I just left the ball outside and will cry until I get it.
19. It appears I've lost my ball. You should give me a new one.
20. Oh look, I found the old ball! I now have 2 balls!
21. Oops, I seem to have lost both those balls. May I have another please?
22. No, I cannot explain why there are 17 balls under the deck.

This is post 956 since the founding of this blog in March 2005.


  1. 23. You are trying to have a conversation without waking the whole house up? I'm going to wine until you throw my ball.

  2. 11 =~ s/kill/bark at/


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