Friday Pick Six Albums or Songs I'm Ashamed to Have in My Library

Friday, February 24, 2012
While I've always maintained that I have a fairly refined taste in music thanks to my appreciation for it, that is not to say I've never... indulged in music that actually sucks. Indeed, even I have fallen victim to catchy, soulless pop or a few of eminems more meaningful and less hateful offerings. But even those I'm not outright ashamed of. Hell, 8 Mile won and Oscar. But no, there are other things in my library I cannot defend. Things like:

6: Fall Out Boy and the other numerous Emo songs
Yes, I know, emo is whiny pubescent crap, and emos are the second most annoying people on the planet (second only to hipsters. Wait, make that third, "wiggers" are the worst). Despite this, I have quite the collection of emo singles in my Library, the most damning of which are the few songs I have from emo poster-boys Fall Out Boy. What can I say? I was pretty emo myself senior year of high school.

5: Tool
I'm fully aware that about 5% of the population will loathe my existence for saying this, but Tool isn't very good. They're a mix of angst, pretension, metal, and cacophony in music form, that has the most scarily devout Cult following I have ever encountered. I'm ashamed that I have one of their albums, mostly because one of that Cult gave it to me and REALLY wanted me to like it. I did not. Still don't. Maybe she's right and I just don't "get" Tool, but seeing how she and others like her unhealthily revere the band, I know this much: I don't WANT to "get" Tool.

4: 1985 by Bowling For Soup
We're all susceptible to the allure of one hit wonders, that's not why I'm ashamed of having this particular song. No, I'm ashamed of this song for many other reasons. First, it's a nostalgia song, and I'm opposed to the Cult of Nostalgia in general. But it's not even just that, it's also that I blame Bowling for Soup for the unexplainable love that modern day young hipsters have for the 80s. They wrote those hipsters their album. Uncool.
Oh, also, the band sucks and seems to be forever trapped in their own Nostalgia bubble when they were 16.

3: Good Charlotte
If you know who this band is, or have ever heard a song by them, then you know why they are on this list. If you haven't, basically, it's for the same reason Fall Out Boy is on this list. Good Charlotte is a crappy, screechy knock of of Green Day with no soul who appealed to a 17 year old version of me.

2: Fireflies by Owl City
Let me start off with a story from not too long ago: I was driving in my car listening to Postal Service when a friend piped up: "Hey, these guys sound like Owl City!" No, Owl City sounds like the Postal Service, who released their album in 2003, Five YEARS before Owl City even existed!Sadly, this is the case with most of my friends. They all LOVE this song even though it, and indeed all of Owl City, is a shameless rip off of the Postal Service. It wouldn't be so bad if most of them didn't like Owl City for being "original". And while this song is okay, it will never be the Postal Service.

1: Aly and AJ
It was actually a male friend of mine who gave me this.... wait, you know what, no. I'm NOT ashamed of having Aly and AJ in my library. They may be the soulless Disney pop princesses from a time before Miley Cyrus, but they actually can play instruments and their cover of Do You Believe In Magic is actually pretty good, so screw you guys. DON'T JUDGE ME.

You know what I AM kind of ashamed of though?

1 (for real): Oasis
It was actually my little brother who helped me realize why Oasis sucks: every one of their songs, like so many other songs, use the same 4 chords. Also, if you want a sterling example of the king of musical pretension, you need look no further than Oasis. The only reason hipsters don't outright love him is because Oasis is famous. Sadly, when my bro revealed this to me, it was too late: I had Oasis songs. Though why I STILL have Oasis songs, or any of these, is beyond me.

Also, I will link no videos today. For your sake.

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