You have a friend in your turnip

Friday, July 22, 2011
It was a turnip. Tom didn't really know it was a turnip, since his knowledge of vegetables was limited to what he got on his daily burger at Billy Bob's Burger Joint two blocks down the street. He liked his turnip. It was his best friend. He called it Steven.

Every morning over his breakfast cereal he would tell Steven about his dreams from the previous nights sleep. Steven would always carefully listen, never offering any advice that was not asked for. When it was time for Tom to go to work, he would leave the radio on for Steven, who liked to listen classic country music.

At lunch time, Tom would come home and take Steven down to Billy Bob's Burger Joint for lunch. At first the patrons snickered when Tom would sit down and talk to the turnip about his morning. This went on for several weeks and soon the other people at Billy Bob's would say hello to Steven as easily as they would to Tom.

One day Billy Bob himself joked to Tom, “Why Tom, you love that turnip so much, you ought to marry it!”. Everyone in the restaurant laughed, except for old Miss Blythen, who snorted and said, “He can't marry that turnip! If we let him marry a turnip, next thing you know, people will be marrying potatoes, rutabagas or, heaven forbid, “ she gasped, “even carrots!”

This made the patrons laugh even more, though Miss Blythen had not been joking. Tom himself didn't understand any of it or why people were laughing. All he knew was that people were making fun of his friend. He grabbed Steven and ran out of Billy Bob's Burger Joint. When he got home, he reassured his friend Steven that everything was okay and sometimes people say mean things. He petted Steven and whispered “It's okay,” to him, like his momma did when kids made fun of him.

Tom never took Steven back to Billy Bob's and no one seemed to notice. The summer wore one and each morning and evening, Tom enjoyed Steven's company, putting that horrible day at Billy Bob's behind the two of them.

After some time Steven started to get mushy and sprouting little white things. It made Tom sad, because he thought Steven was sick. One day he woke up and Steven had started to smell. Tom knew that smell as something that was dead. Tom carefully took Steven outside and buried him next to where his momma had buried his goldfish when he was ten.

The next spring Tom was amazed to find a plant growing where he had buried Steve. He was even more amazed when a small red top started to push out of the dirt. After it grew even bigger, Tom pulled up the plant and found another turnip. It didn't look exactly like Steven, but he called it Steven anyways.


  1. Does this mean that Steve was reincarnated?

  2. Brilliant. Great use of writer's block.


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