In Honor of my Last Day of College

Wednesday, May 04, 2011
In four hours, I will go and take my very last final here at the University of Wyoming, and be officially finished with my higher education. In honor of this momentous occasion, I thought I'd look back at what important life lessons I'll be taking with me after I accept the two pieces of paper I've spent 5 years of my life and tens of thousands of dollars in debt on. This is what I came up with:

1: Procrastination - Because half a day of hair-graying stress is a small price to pay for a week of being lazy.
2: There is no problem that can't be solved with an all-nighter in the computer lab.
3: Sleep is only necessary on weekends.
4: Even though college students are notoriously poor, 80% of everything is marketed to us for some reason.
5: If the University/City can squeeze a few extra dollars from a student through pointless parking violations, they will. All. The. Time.
6: Like so many educational institutions, UW is run by administrators who hate students.
7: Being in college does not mean that you're smart. I've met some dumb, dumb people here on campus.
8: Contrary to what TV and movies may have you think, the students who actually spend their time at college drinking, partying and being jerkoffs don't tend to succeed. Ever.
9: If you're a humanities or fine arts student, it's really the experience you walk away with, because God knows your degree won't get you far.
10: On that note, you math, science, and business guys may have jobs to look forward to with your degrees, but I'm sure someday my ability to quote Shakespearean sonnets will totally get me laid. "Let not my love be called idolatry/Nor my beloved as an idol show/Since all alike my songs and praises be/To one, of one, still such and ever so", bitches!

6 comments :

  1. LMAO - Right on Guapo!

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  2. Good observations. I would, however, like to point out that there is no guarantee that this is the end of your higher education. It may take a bit, but at some point you will wonder, "should I get a Master's degree?"

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  3. Well, I'm so proud. Money well spent, I say!
    And I agree with Linus...I think a year or two in the world will have you re-thinking the degree thing.

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  4. I <3 #10 - and wish you luck with your Maser's. :D

    ReplyDelete
  5. math guy says "wanna go for a ride in my bitchin sports car?"

    Congrats D

    ReplyDelete
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