What Your Cigarette Says About You! (First Post from the New Guy)

I’ve spent the last 5 months working at a convenience store 7 blocks from my apartment. It’s been a magical time, filled with wonder and amazement and… and who am I kidding? I work graves at a convenience store in a college town. It’s exactly as much fun as it sounds. Well, I’ve been getting paid, so that’s pretty cool, and it actually has been fairly educational.
For example, I’ve learned that by convenience store, what they really mean is place to get cigarettes and, on occasion, things you can get at a grocery store for much less. Seriously, more than 60% of my store’s internal revenue comes from tobacco products. That means that, in essence, 60% of my paycheck comes from me selling cancer sticks to people. I’m not really too surprised by this… after all, it’s a college town in Wyoming, meaning the population consists entirely of rednecks who are basically the target audience for the tobacco industry, because many of them probably can’t read the warning labels and honest to God think that a “light” cigarette is healthier for them (I kid you not, more than one person has said this to me), college students who figure that they should be spending their time now drinking and smoking because their idea of college has come from watching Van Wilder and Animal House (that, and because smoking, like, totally makes them look cool), and old people who have nothing better to buy than things that will put them in the grave just a little faster (I say they have nothing better to buy based on the fact there is a half an aisle dedicated to the Snuggie at the local Wal-Mart).
To comply with the high demand for tobacco, there is literally a wall full of it at the store, offering a wide variety of tobacco wrapped in paper with a filter. There is basically a cigarette for every kind of person imaginable. As I have noted from my long time here, different types of people are attracted to different kinds of cigarettes, with, in most cases (I’ll go ahead and say 4 out of every 5 cases), you can tell what kind of person someone is based on the pack that they buy:
American Spirit:
The Hipster cigarette of choice! People who buy American Spirits fall into one of two categories: One, the kind of people who think that because American Spirits are, and I quote, “100% additive free natural tobacco”, that it means that it’s better than the “trash” those other simpletons buy (yes, a regular of mine did use the word “trash” to describe other brands). Two, the kind of people who think that because American Spirit is “natural”, and it has a pipe-smoking Indian as a mascot, it’s, like, totally less destructive on the environment, man! American Spirit cares about the earth, and poor small-time tobacco farmers! Not like those mainstream d-bags (these people fail to realize that, in truth, American Spirit is as widely distributed as brands like Marlboro, Camel and Newport, meaning it still causes plenty of damage to the earth in transportation alone). In either case, Hipsters like American Spirits. Rarely do I get a smoker who I don’t think I need to card who buys American Spirit.
Marlboro:
Marlboro is somehow synonymous with cowboys and the west, most likely due to decades of really effective marketing on Phillip-Morris’ part. As such, I sell waaaaaaaaaay more Marlboros than any other brand here in Wyoming. People who buy Marlboros are hard to generalize, since we offer 30+ different types of Marlboro at our little store. That being said, there are certain types of Marlboro that are favored by certain types of people. For instance, Marlboro Blend 27s seem to be favorited by the painfully redneck Tech-ers (for those of you who don't know what a Tech-er is, they are kids who attend the Wyoming Technical School... and they are almost always kids who weren't smart enough to get into any other school ever), probably because they’re brown and look like leather, meaning they’re a manly cigarette! Marlboro Menthol Smooths are the female equivalent, favorite by the few girl Tech-ers. Old, redneck men almost always buy standard Marlboros, annoyingly assuming they’re the only cigarette we sell, often asking for “a pack of smokes” or “a pack of Reds” and assuming I’ll know they mean Marlboro. This in spite of the fact that we have Marlboro Reds, Marlboro Red Pack (which is different… somehow), Camel Reds, Winston Reds, American Spirit Red Pack, Sonoma Reds, and I think you get the picture. While many people buy Marlboros, it is safe to say that if a redneck of any breed or age walks through those doors, they’re going to want Marlboros. Cause they’re the cowboy smokes, and this is Wyomin’ damnit!
Newport:
This is the second brand that is really kept on the shelves because of college students. Newports are somehow the “classy” but still non-pretentious brand of cigarettes (Benson & Hedges being the classy and pretentious brand), for those young-uns who still think that their habit is worth $6.50 a pack for some reason (in Wyoming, between $5 and $5.50 is about average price for cigarettes). To be honest, I didn’t even like Newports when I tried them, and thought the Marlboro Menthols made me gag less… but I’m no smoker, so what the hell do I know, right? They cost more, therefore they MUST be better! Makes sense to me. And when you’re a college student, trying to look cool, you want an expensive cigarette that doesn’t make you look like a stuck-up snob but is also menthol so you can smoke it without coughing like the poser you are.
Camel:
Like Marlboros, there are just so many kinds of Camel offered that it’s hard to generalize customers of the brand as a whole with about 20 different kinds of Camels available. As for the individual types of Camels, well, you have Camel Crush and Camel No. 9, both of which are bought almost exclusively by effeminate men and roughly equally effeminate women. You have your Camel Wides, targeted at people who want to smoke two cigarettes at once but are too lazy to light two cigarettes or to roll their own. The solution? BIGGER CIGARETTES, for twice the price! Interestingly, a lot of fat people buy Wides… oh the irony in that. A few acting majors I know personally who regular the store buy Camel Reds… and they’re literally the ONLY PEOPLE who buy them. Not really sure why. And finally, there are the filter-less Camels, which, as far as I can tell, are only bought by hard-asses who like to tempt death and then punch him in his stupid deathly FACE.
Basic:
I don’t sell too many of these, and when I do, it’s to old people who make one of two assumptions about them. Some are like the Hipsters who like American Spirit and think that “organic tobacco” makes a better cigarette… though it just makes me curious what inorganic tobacco is like. Others are strange, confused old people who assume that because they’re called “Basic”, they’re the cheapest cigarettes. They are not.
Sonoma:
These are cheapest cigarettes we sell. Understandably, the only people who buy them are usually the same people buying chips and soda with their food stamps, then throwing together change to buy cigarettes while complaining under their breath that their food stamps won’t cover them or energy drinks anymore (talk about unreasonable, right?). Seriously, anyone who has kids and uses their food stamps on junk food should be required to get a tattoo on their forehead that reads “I'm a terrible person”, but that’s getting off topic (I think I'd be more okay with them buying gourmet food on their food stamps, see the correlating post below). No one really enjoys Sonoma. They’re the Keystone of cigarettes… they’ll help you get your fix cheaply, but at what greater cost?
Benson & Hedges:
Only one kind of person buys these, and that person is the kind of massive pretentious prick who thinks he’s better than everyone else because he buys a $9 pack of cigarettes. Actually, only one person on my shift buys them, and I hate him (see the above reason). He comes in once or twice a week, and I still don’t know his name, so let’s just call him Claude. Seriously Claude, no one thinks you’re cool for buying the most expensive cigarettes we sell, dude. Also, loose the pedo-stache.

95 comments

  1. Diane7:23 PM

    Dan, this is just hysterical! Great blog...btw, when I was young college student I smoked Benson & Hedges menthol...wonder what that says about me? Also, I think I knew Claude...lol

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  2. Up here Camel Wides have a different type of customer. Musicians and stoners mostly.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous2:45 AM

      MN Same thing here man!!!!

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    2. Anonymous12:39 AM

      MN rep! i know nobody who smokes wides in st.paul. I smoke Marlboro reds tho... am i an in the closet redneck?

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    3. I smoke Camel Wides and I am a fat, stoned musician. So I guess everyone wins?

      Delete
  3. does Saratoga still exist?
    Mom settled on those because they were supposed to have fewer additives.

    And really cool faux ostrich skin boxes.

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  4. *giggles* Not a smoker but this was fun sharp reading!

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  5. Well observed. Top notch.

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  6. Cigarette is one of the best businesses in the industry. This is because of the significant increase in the demands. In spite of the warnings about the effects of cigarette, there are still many new brands coming out in the market and trying to penetrate the smoking industry.

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  7. Are you serious, people actually believe American Spirits are better than all the other brands just because of something the company puts on the pack? Additive-free tobacco will still kill you, and pipe-smoking Indian doesn't make them better for the environment. What are these people thinking?

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6:08 PM

      Tobacco kills. Period. American Spirits are bad for you, especially all you pack a day smokers. But they are . . . less bad. Will they kill you about as quickly if you smoke regularly, yes, they will. No, the Indian doesn't make it better for the environment, but American Spirits are the most environmentally conscious brand of cigarettes you can find. That doesn't mean they're good for the environment, growing tobacco regularly destroys soil like no other crop, but they do employ much more small farmers and use less harsh farming methods. They also don't test on animals, so good for them. Tobacco smoke still has nicotine, still causes cancer, emphysema, heart disease, and all the fun things. But there are significantly less carcinogens in American Spirits.

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    2. Anonymous10:06 AM

      Plus American Spirits have more easily biodegradable butts and packs. they've removed all the foil from their packaging...

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    3. I smoke american spirits because they burn wayyy slower than lets say some reds and I like the taste better. I've never met anyone who smokes them because their "healthier." That seems moronic to me

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    4. Anonymous12:36 AM

      I really can't stand people that think they know something that they clearly dont. Tobacco CAN NOT kill you, also nicotine can kill you but seeing how it generally only affects you for 10-15 minutes that alone would take forever. What WILL kill you is the extra crap in cigs. I used to work at smoker friendly in wyoming and yes this blog is pretty correct lol. I smoke newports though oh and for those that dont know, yes menthol crystalizes in your lungs

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    5. Anonymous7:11 AM

      My grandmother worked in a cigar factory starting at the age 11 for 30 years. Smoked her entire life. Died at the age of 96. Drank alcohol her entire life too. Never had cancer. Never had liver disease.

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    6. Anonymous9:34 AM

      Quite the lucky gal.

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    7. Anonymous2:58 AM

      What about Marlboro Black Menthols? What does that say about me? Because I am by no means redneck, or country at all.

      Delete
    8. Anonymous1:43 PM

      I smoke American Spirits and I always get carded! It drives me F*ing insane! I'm in my 30's, but am blessed to be from a family that ages very well. I'm usually guessed to look between 18-21. I used to smoke Newports, but those are so hard on the lungs that I couldn't breath and would wake up wheezing and coughing up nasty stuff and sometimes blood. Now that I smoke American Spirits I never wheeze and never have problems with my lungs. American Spirits talky aren't as hard in a smokers lungs as other brands (this I know because I've smoked pretty much every brand out there). I'm definitely not a hipster and I don't think the magical Indian man will save the earth, but I do know that less chemicals going in is better. Must brands even have rat poisoning in them! Try and tell me that won't hurt a person. My great grand father smoked natural tobacco that his family grew and smoked everyday from the time he was a kid and lived to be 101! People might like to laugh at use American Spirit smokers, but they are 'easier' on your body even if they aren't considered 'safe' they are the lesser of the evil as you could say. As far as what my cigarette says about me, I think this article is hysterical! When I buy my cigarettes I'm always told "you don't strike me as an American Spirit smoker, are these for you?" (third party sales are illegal) I pull out my nearly empty pack and tell them they are the ONLY brand I will smoke! I'm normally pegged as a Newport smoker. I'm female, but always wear mens basketball shorts, t-shirts, and Nikes. I think it is funny how yes usually people fit in a category, but some of us break the mold. Last time I bought some the clerk was like "not to be rude, but are you a 'stud'" (a female that is gay and dresses like a man) this made me laugh so hard because I hear that ask the time, but my husband was out in the car.

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  8. Outstanding blog you guys have preserved there, I totally valuate the effort.
    marlboro light

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  9. Never found such informative articles.
    marlboro lights

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  10. Anonymous10:54 PM

    does anyone smoke Seneca out there? It's like halfway between a Sonoma and a Marlboro... you're not smoking total trash, but you're still a tool.

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  11. Anonymous10:39 PM

    another butt hurt baby, get a real job.

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  12. Anonymous2:09 AM

    I enjoyed reading this. You're a good writer!

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  13. Ow. I'm a huge gamer dude stoner dude and I smoke smooths. Like the taste and the burn when they go down. I'm also part hick whoch explains why I liked marb reds at some point. (Alaskan hick not texas hick btw)

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  14. Anonymous6:22 PM

    5 months and you are an expert on the human psyche from cigarettes. If you ever smoke cigarettes, by your descriptions, I would suggest you try the Benson and Hedges. It seems to be the closest match to your personality.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous8:51 PM

      Apparently working the register at the quickie is high society in Wyoming

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    2. I could not have said it better myself. You judge mental prick. Making fun of smokers and people on welfare. W T F is your problem?

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    3. Anonymous12:18 PM

      Who cares what others have to say. The only reason this guy doesn't like the pretentious dick is because he is one get some more Benson and hedges you fucking prick

      Delete
  15. I always get carded when I buy American Spirit

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6:06 PM

      What does getting carded mean? I live in Australia. Left the US when Ray-gun came to power. Here all tobacco is in plain packaging with graphic health warnings. American Spirit only available by mail order at just over $50 a pouch (Inc. postage). Last time I bought a pack of Camel it was around $17. Tax on cigs increases almost yearly.
      Also gas is around $1.70 a litre where I live (in the 'bush') so work out how much that is a gallon! You would not believe the price of bourbon if I told you!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6:18 PM

      I should add though that even as an old guy I get at least $20 cash-in-hand an hour for casual work - $30 an hour if using chainsaw. Minimal wage in the US sucks big time, here we cannot believe how low it is ... or how much those on Wall St have stolen from the US populace via your corrupt governments!

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    3. Anonymous11:34 AM

      Getting carded means getting your ID checked to see if you are of age.

      Delete
  16. Anonymous11:51 AM

    Agre with second to last I smoke American spirits for taste and u would probly peg me as a Newport the gas station attendent knows psychology lmao

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  17. "Sonomas... get your fix cheaply, but at what greater cost?"
    This seems to imply that you believe there is such a thing as a 'more-dangerous' cigarette. How can that be possible if you also believe the American Spirit crowd and those who buy 'lights' who think they are getting a 'safer cigarette' are so misinformed (or too stupid to read warning labels)? Seems like flawed logic.

    Maybe that would be OK in an off-the-cuff comment, but this is a 5 month experiment. I sure hope you're not a science major, as it seems you lack the ability to look at things objectively.

    Do you by any chance have an article that categories people based on race or religion?

    The only saving grace for this article is that it fully communicates the fact that you work the graveyard shift, so it left me with hope that not many people have to interact with you, and those that do will be too drunk to remember, with any luck.

    Just to kinda throw it back at ya, how do you think the rest of the world would categorize some smarmy, judgmental, post-adolescent, graveyard shift working gas-station attendant in Wyoming? Why don't you try climbing up a few rungs on the social ladder, makes it easier to spit on those at the bottom (if that's your thing).

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous12:17 AM

      Nice, vagrant. I agree with you entirely. The article is a bit funny but I really hope he isnt serious.

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    2. He thinks hes cool by making fun of people whom he thinks is lower then him. He probably got his ass kicked on a regular because of his snide attitude. Probably why he works the grave yard shift, he has no body to play with

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    3. Anonymous12:22 PM

      I absolutely agree. Half the time I was reading this, I was having trouble believing a 6th grader is allowed to work the graveyard shift.

      Delete
  18. Anonymous9:33 PM

    smarmy is correct

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  19. Causes of smoking people addicted to smoking lose their appetite
    for food and energy for power.Smoking also pollutes the envirnment and the air.
    Besides it causes irritation in the eye, offends the nose and unsettles the mind.


    benefits of stop smoking
    smoking health effects
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    benefits of quit smoking
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4:24 PM

      So. You seem to know people who feel that if they smoke they will lose their appetite for food? I do not think the "More smoking = less wanting to eat" idea-holders are right and I'm about to tell why. A dear friend believed such lies. Since she didn't want to be as big as a house she lit up a cig whenever she felt hungry.
      Well she now has COPD. Not surprising, since she told me that before she got pneumonia and nearly died, she was up to 4 packs a day of the butts.
      So since she asked her god, great spirit, spirit guides...call it/them what you will to "Please make it easy for me to stop smoking. I'm seriously addicted.
      Came the bout with pneumonia. She now does not smoke.

      But since she stopped smoking and went back to her usual Food Plan which involved Cheetos and Pepsi plus all other empty food/ junk food that caught her fancy she now has Adult Onset Type 2 Diabetes...yeah, on top of the fact she cannot get rid of the COPD. Go figure.

      Delete
  20. Anonymous2:42 AM

    All I know is I came across this by accident Stoned and smoking a camel wide as I sit in my car at 4am on my break from my overnight shift and laugh my ass off even if I don't agree with everything you wrote its funnier than shit

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  21. Smoking is so dangerous that the stench of cigarette is repulsive to non-smoker.
    Moreover, it wastes a lot of money. So all of us irrespective of caste, creed, colour,
    religion and age should launch a massive campain against smoking.



    benefits of stop smoking
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dude,when you pay my bills and feed me, then you MIGHT be able to tell me to quit smoing, until then,mind your own.

      Delete
  22. Anonymous2:41 PM

    Another gas station attendant working min. wage suffering little man syndrome. What else is new? I smoke Spirits because they burn longer, and have a nice taste. Get off the arm chair, Freud

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous8:43 PM

      Yep. You really notice the lack of chemicals in the taste.

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    2. Anonymous10:41 AM

      Yep. You really notice how much better they taste when you run out and have to bum one off your Newport/Marb smoking buddies. Yuck

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    3. Anonymous2:00 PM

      Agreed. People always mockingly say "hipster!" when I pull out my pack. I just smoke them because they taste better and stop me from chain smoking due to how long they burn.

      Delete
  23. Anonymous11:52 PM

    am i the only one who doesnt smoke cigarettes for looks.......
    i smoke american spirits because they taste good and not because i look like a pseudo douchebag wannabee

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  24. ...still flabbergasted at the fact that a pack of smokes usually costs around $5-6 in your world. Living in the city that never sleeps (and apparently sells cigarettes for way too high a price) [NY in case anyone cares], I usually get mine between 12-15 bucks. But I probably shouldn't be surprised.

    As for the whole idea of judging a person based on the type of cig they buy, I think the conditions are circumstantial and don't speak for the entire cancer-stick consuming population. My go-to is American Spirits Menthol Mellows, and occasionally, when I like a nice strong smoke, Newport Menthol Blue 100s.

    Oh & I am well aware that the claims of Spirits being organic are no different, either better or worse, than others. I just personally prefer the taste.

    Really entertaining though!

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  25. nice blog. but most is pretty limited to your location. i moved to Texas from Detroit subs. i quit smoking 7 years ago and started smoking again cuz boredom kills faster than cigs....

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  26. Newport happens to be the overwhelming choice of the hip-hop cultcha which as I can imagine illustrates the limitations of basing your demographic on samples from Rural Bush, WY.
    But unfortunately although your article does qualify under entertaining reads, your tendency toward the same ignorance implicit with the lesser-educated cross-section of humanity you're bullying here is tattooed all over your own forehead.

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  27. Anonymous11:55 PM

    A thought through experiment wouldve set out to smoke said cigarettes to really get in the mind of the different classifications you've stated above. But thanks for this i see the same stuff here in TN and i moved here from CA lol

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  28. Anonymous5:42 PM

    Wait a second...

    Oh shit. I go to this convenience store.

    I buy American Spirits, but really I just think their packaging is cool. Damn my simple minded and easily amused consumer brain!

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  29. Good to know what kind of customer I am. American Spirit mellow for me

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  30. Anonymous1:47 PM

    Just wanted to add my opinion since I'm from a very different part of the country, grew up in NYC and now live in Los Angeles.

    When I was in high school, I smoked Newports. That's what black people smoke. Obviously that's a crazy broad generalization, but that's one of the biggest reasons why people I've known smoked them. They're also some of the cheapest in big cities, totally different from what your experience with them is.

    I currently smoke American Spirits. They have a good deal more tobacco in them then other king sized cigarettes (I believe 33% more). It takes me about 6 minutes to finish a regular camel or marlboro, about 10-12 an American Spirit. Since they don't cost 33% more than other cigarettes, it's worth it for me.

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  31. Anonymous8:54 PM

    Truth is there's no such think as a safe cig but am spirits are truly safer than the mainstream cigs. If you've smoked different cigs you can easily tell am spirits aren't riddled with chemicals. Plus they last as long as a good pool game and a glass of beer

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  32. A very amusing read. I can't believe all the snarky comments. And in this day and age, people still justifying why they smoke. Yes I guess reformed smokers are the worst, although it's been 30 years since I had one. When I did smoke, it was Newports or Kools. And yes, because cigarettes without menthol were too "strong" for me.

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  33. Anonymous9:01 PM

    I usually smoke those filtered cigars because they're cheap as hell went and got 2 packs for 3.17 the other day

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  34. Anonymous12:16 PM

    Buddy, 27's taste like heaven.
    I don't care if it had a big purple dildo on the pack, that cig is the tops.

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  35. Anonymous6:21 PM

    Wow, so many people making hateful comments about smokers and their brands. I guess none of you are overweight from eating, and none of you drink too much on occasion, both of those can be bad for your health. And I bet none of you text while driving, bad for your own health and others potentially. I could go on and on. We all have our demons, so people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! I would love to quit smoking, it's not easy or I'd already have done it. I smoke American Spirit because until I can quit, I want a cigarette with the least additives available and I'm waaaay past the age of being carded. I respect anybody who works for a living, but if you are so disdainful of Wyoming and cancer sticks, why not move and get a different type of job, I bet you've got a degree or two gathering dust somewhere, yet oddly a convenience store is the only job you've been able to get.

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  36. Anonymous4:08 PM

    Typical arrogance assuming a 'redneck' is illiterate. I also like how you make an unfounded assumption that a person at a technical school has likely failed to get into a "real college". Perhaps this person knew a traditional college wasnt a good fit? This awful article could have been summed up this way: after a short stint in a crap job that somehow has given me insight into how people behave/act, I've discovered that more than one brand of cigarette exists and smokers have a preference for one brand over another!

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  37. Anonymous12:03 AM

    Maybe it's a college town thing...I smoked newports, camel crush...etc. now i'm in the mood for American Spirits. I really disagree with this type of article...quit putting labels on people..unless they're hipsters, they're really annoying :P

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  38. nice blog. but most is pretty limited to your location. i moved to Texas from Detroit subs. i quit smoking 7 years ago and started smoking again cuz boredom kills faster than cigs....

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  39. Anonymous11:22 AM

    A good read and entertaining comments. Thanks

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  40. Anonymous12:27 AM

    If a person inhales a light and regular cigarette with equal depth and frequency, that person will be exposed to less tar with the light cigarette than a regular cigarette. That fact is scientifically proven and not disputed by anti-smoking advocates. The issue with this and why it is no longer legal for cigarette companies to advertise cigarettes as being "light" or "ultralight" stem from how each individual smokes a cigarette. It is possible for a person to inhale a light cigarette with deeper and more frequent breaths than with a regular cigarette and expose themselves to more tar. Therefore, the terms "light" and the like are considered to be misleading.

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  41. Anonymous1:27 AM

    SHUUUUUUUUUT THE FUUUUUCK UP YOU IGNORANT PRICK

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  42. Anonymous10:32 AM

    When I was growing up Marlboro Reds were the "rocker" cigarette. By the '80s, the girls that listened to dance music and went to dance clubs smoked Marlboro lights. By the '90s, Camels became the "alternative rocker" cigarette. Goth types smoked Mores and cloves. I also have noticed that women with light hair (blonde or silver) usually smoke a long all-white cigarette; whereas, women that have dark hair and are a little more stout in stature prefer regular-sized cork-filtered cigarettes. Certain brands are tied to old people like, Tareyton, Benson&Hedges, L&M, Lark and filterless Pall Malls. In the early '70s black and white alike smoked Kools until Newport took over. I have been told that Marlboro Red 100 is the perfect "coke" cigarette, and, finally, things like Virginia Slim, More and Saratoga are considered "fetish" cigarettes.

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  43. Anonymous2:40 AM

    American Spirits are the only cigarettes I can handle. They're the reason I started smoking and actually eventually helped me quit. I used to love trying out different cigarettes and after about a year or so I realized that American Spirits were somehow better for me than the other cigarettes. My lungs start acting up on anything other than American Spirits. And when I eventually started to only smoke them, I slowly started weening off it. I feel like the other chemical they put in other cigs make it harder for someone to quit. Especially the menthol and lighter cigs. The heavier the cigarette the less I eventually smoked cause I couldn't handle it and it made me control my cravings for longer. Now I maybe enjoy a Black American Spirit every month or two. And my lungs have been every grateful.

    But at the end of the day a cig is a cig, they're all pretty bad for you, I just think American Spirits from personal experience are less bad for you, if that makes any sense. One cigarette from any other brand and I'm instantly addicted again so that's why I would endorse American Spirits to those who absolutely have to smoke.

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  44. Anonymous10:22 AM

    I used to smoke Winston Lights. What kind of asshole smokes them? They don't taste much different than American Spirits to me and they are three bucks cheaper. Pall Mall Blues for the cheap cigarettes.

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  45. Anonymous8:36 PM

    I smoke American Spirits and Newports because I enjoy the flavor -- and since we are being condescending, I am a 24-year-old who could likely execute a laplace transform with more precision than you could breathe. I was attending a state university for mechanical engineering, my priorities shifted - I wanted a fairly lucrative career and family before I was 35, which isn't possible while pursuing engineering - and I was a lot older than most of the students; it was an ill fit, and a technical school fit me better all-around.

    But really, please just cram the patronizing with regard to this topic: I see it everywhere - wow you're going to a big kid state university, good for you, have fun smoking your first joint kiddo. This doesn't necessarily make you any more intelligent than someone going to a technical school. You act like getting into a state university is like getting into the fucking Ivy League or something.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous3:38 PM

      agreed, best comment so far.

      Delete
  46. Anonymous2:45 AM

    American spirits taste begter by far and burn way longer. Whether or not a box legally has to say lights cigarettes arent better, the more filtered it it, it technically is less unhealthy. Also natural cigarettes lack the slew of chemicals that are addictive yet unnatural in tobacco

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  47. Anonymous12:18 AM

    Wyoming smoker here. I smoke natural American Spirits because they burn longer and taste better. And yes, after you acquire a taste for spirits, other smokes taste like garbage. Plus they seem to be of superior build quality. Other smokes get all hot and squishy towards the end, but spirits less so. I am not under the delusion that they are good for me. I am in Casper, which is not exactly a college town, but I bet my gray beard you wouldn't card me.

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  48. Anonymous10:38 AM

    American Spirits are not just for hipsters, but for those who actually enjoy a quality smoke now and then. You are retarded Sir.

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  49. I totally have to disagree on your whole basis on labeling people to cigarettes. For instance Marlboro reds are not just for Cowboys honestly I see a lot more people of all ages smoking them and besides that Cowboys either dip or chew. American spirits being 100% additive free is a good thing. They do not put all the other chemicals that other companies put in theirs and the major chemical is the fire retardant. That chemical is the leading cause of coughing in smokers. Plus your statement about people just smoke cause it makes them look cool or just cause they don't have anything better to spend their money on well that can be true in most cases but the truth here is the fact that they smoke for the pleasure of relaxation from the nicotine and it honestly helps with depression. You have a higher chance dying from a car wreck or simply a natural cause then you do from smoking.

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  50. so basically no matter what kind of cig you smoke you're a hipster douche? haha i smoke american spirit blacks, not because it's better for you(I mean come on, it's a cig) or because the other reasons you posted. i simply buy them because i think they taste the best lol

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  51. i worked a gas station in new park, pennsylvania for roughly a month, (yes a ridiculously short time, as it was a ridiculously shitty job) the majority of cigarettes i sold were marlboro gold (lights). these seemed to be an all around cigarette for virtually everyone in town. i only sold a few packs of marlboro reds, (surprisingly for rural pa) and that was normally to the mexican workers at the local fruit farms. i also sold newports, that were, i hate to say it, mostly sold to african americans. there was a particular group that came in every day and all bought the same thing. at the time i was smoking marlboro red 100s, and i put a heavy dent on those. when they ran out i either switched to L&M red 100s or marlboro red box. you learn a lot about who smoke what cigarettes working at a gas station.

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  52. Anonymous5:30 PM

    Dumbest thing that I have read in a long time.

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  53. Anonymous4:58 PM

    lmfao come to NY and see how much $ a pack is here

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  54. Ok first of all...re : WY and Night shift...If ya ever been to WY ya know there are few stores around. As far as night shift goes did ya ever think he might be married with kids...wife works days and he works nights to make ends meet. He could also be a single dad...home with the kids during the day and grammy/gramps in the evening...at least he can see his kids grow up !!!....If single...then School durning the day and work at night to pay for school.
    OK now about BUTTS...Started out smoking butts in HS...Golden Colorado in the 70"s so guess what I smoked...yep Marlboro,s. and Winston's...lol go figure...hung with the cowboys who chewed and smoked...then it was college....still on Marlboro's....and a few other organic products..after college it was still Marlboro's....worked for a lady who smoked Salems...so I changed over to Salems for a bit....then Basic's regular..( got married )...back to Marlboro's Red...Moved to VA and worked at a prison...Guess what everyone smoked...Newport's..the choice for the Black generation...they were not bad...went back to Marlboro's cause everyone kept bumming them...lol ( GAURDS NOT INMATES )... Met my soul mate who is a redneck...go figure...and he also smokes Marlboro's...Switched over to Gold 72"s up north since they cost less...saw an article about all the additives in normal butts so I went and bought a pack of American Spirit.. cost $ 9.00 as compared to $7.11 for Marlboro 72's...
    The Spirit lasts longer....burns smoother...and has NO additives...Yes I know the dangers of Smoking...weaning my body off the additives first...and then eventually will try to quit again....
    AT 62 the damage is already done I know...yet I still crave butts...I also smoke less since the Spirit butts satisfy the craving..
    Reading past comments was interesting....and thought I's put my 3 cents in...lol
    Time for a Spirit..Dark Blue....

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous9:13 AM

      Ha ha. American Spirit Organic - RYO because the state has no right to force burning carpet glue into my body just because a few alcoholics tend to pass out before they extinguish their cigarettes.

      That's right, "fire safe" tubes (required by more than 23 states) are striped with carpet glue ... and no one has ever done ANY studies to determine if FS cigarettes are "safe" for human "consumption." After all, we are just stupid smokers, who don't care about our health anyway ... so why should Uncle Sam? Right?

      Only thing Uncle Sam cares about is the "sin tax" he can collect on tobacco (Which is why the old hypocrite will never ban smoking completely.)

      Delete
  55. Anonymous7:15 AM

    Right on

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  56. People in the mid west really are just full of hate, cliches, and ignorance... lol

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  57. Anonymous5:19 PM

    What part of Wyoming is your store in?

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  58. Anonymous7:33 AM

    All of you are full of sheer shit - sadly.

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  59. Anonymous3:30 PM

    This is the most wildly inaccurate piece of misinformed garbage i have ever read. But please, don't take that observation to mean I am passionate about my cigarettes. You cant tell a thing about a person because they smoke Camels or Marlboros other than a few broad generalizations. The only portion of this blog I agreed with was your statement regarding the wide assortment of varieties that Camel and Marlboros have to offer. Oh, and Newports are "classy"? Wowww.... Show me one person who smokes Newports because they think they are classy... You can't. Newport caters to one specific demographic and they are not shy about advertising specifically to said demographic. Another primary reason people smoke 'Ports is because they are the strongest mentholated cigarette on the market aside from Camel Menthol Full Flavored after one has pressed the crush bulb. Good try though man, maybe you should ask the Techies you have such a good time looking down on for some help next time...

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    1. Anonymous9:02 AM

      LOL! Right on. This guy ... obviously a non-smoker ... is the pretentious little pr**k.

      Delete
  60. Anonymous5:24 PM

    I think alot of these generalizations are kinda true. One angle to consider more though, is how gender plays a role. For example:

    I'm a Marlboro Reds kinda girl. Maybe its just an independance kinda thing. Have been since I started smoking as a teenager, still am almost twenty years later. Yeah, maybe two packs a day is too much for me to be smoking, but hey, its better than when I smoke three pack a day right? jk, I only smoke 2 packs a day =) who has time for more these days?!

    Truth is, as bad as cigarettes are, there are other things bad for you too. I'd rather keep on smoking and keep off the extra weight, and all the problems obesity brings; even if it does mean I''m more likely to get lung cancer down the road. My grandmother died from lung cancer back in the 80s when I was a little girl, so I know its bad, but it didn't stop me or my mother from smoking. It did however, stop my aunt from smoking. Sure thing, when she quit smoking, she gained weight. Now shes got severe hyper tension and diabetes, and is in much worse health than my mother, who still smokes. Im not saying that means its good for you, duh, but I am saying that there are lots of other things that are also bad for you, and people shouldnt demonize smokers so much!

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  61. Well, in an attempt to expand the survey sample... I smoke American Spirit cigarettes. I doubt seriously you'd feel a need to card me. I've smoked American Spirit for about 15 years. I like the smoke and I like the packaging. I don't assume anything about ethics of the COMPANY that manufactures and distributes the product. R.J. Reynolds owns this company; "RJReynolds" also appeared on the package of the cigarette I switched from - Camel. I suffer no delusions about the physiological impact of smoking on my health: I know the good reasons to stop smoking. AND American Spirits definitely smoke "better" for me than Camels. I believe people are free to make their own choices and I strongly advocate for people being more educated and intentional about their choices. For better or worse, human civilization is at a point where people smoke cigarettes. No one is required to smoke or purchase cigarettes -- any more than they are required to purchase a gun or a TV -- but some people choose to. We appreciate the availability of cigarettes at a nearby store. There are just so few things that can be completely demonized; there's pros and cons, benefit and hazard attached to everything. The tool held by one person becomes a weapon in someone else's hands. Such is Life.

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    1. Jeff G11:16 AM

      While your argument is thoughtful and articulate, you probably wasted your time making it because the writer of this article thinks you are an idiot because you smoke and, in his mind, that invalidates anything that you think or say. You're not an individual to him. You're just a stupid, disgusting smoker who wants to "look cool". (Because that's why people smoke - according to every 1980's anti-smoking-for-kids ad, and the tool who wrote this silly thing.) Ignore the fact that people have been smoking tobacco since before there was any such thing as marketing, packaging or image-makeovers. Stop thinking, dumb smoker! Go smoke your cancer sticks with your yellow cancery fingers in your dingy, cancer-ridden cancer house!

      Delete
  62. Anonymous12:09 AM

    Sounds like we've got a Laramie, Wyoming resident here! Haha, I've probably bought smokes from you! Spirits! funny post

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  63. What about the roll-your-own crowd? I smoke Bugler RYO's. Describe the usual customer that does the same.

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  64. He he, I smoke Lucky Strikes and am under 30, what does that say about me? Also, interesting because Marlboro started as a woman's cigarette.

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  65. Jeff G11:09 AM

    You know what assumptions I make about someone who buys (insert any brand) cigarettes? That they enjoy smoking.

    You might want to consider pulling your pretentious head out of your snotty, uptight ass one day. You sound like an incredibly judgmental prick, which I have trouble understanding, since you work at a gas station and should therefore be just a teensy bit more humble. You should have called this entire piece "I hate people who smoke and here are my irrational thoughts peppered with a generous helping of childish insults."

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