The perils of mania mixed with writers block

Monday, July 05, 2010
Writing code and just plain writing are fairly similar as an occupation. I can spin out 10 to 100 lines of code just as easy as writing a bit of copy for an ad or catalog entry. It's my job.. I seem to be able to do those things whether  I am blocked or not.

Lately, when it comes to the big stuff, my way has been blocked at every point. This is true of both the writing and the coding. The hard part of both versions of my current brain lock is that I have all the pieces floating around in my head. Bits of dialogue and lines of code scrawled on virtual napkins in my head. It's as if the "big ideas" are so big that I can't find a rope big enough to lasso them together.

When I sit down to either write or compose some code for my big ideas, my brain takes off like a malfunctioning rocket. Some bizarre stream of consciousness that looks something like this:
if a <> b then c, but what about d?
If d was a process rather than a place, would it be as desirous?
Desire… the hearts dance against the heads best wishes.
Brain starts humming: She's a candle burning in my room
Yeah I'm like the needle, needle and spoon
Over the counter with a shotgun
Pretty soon everybody got one
And the fever when I'm beside her
Desire, desire...

Forlorn and forgotten "e" languishes in a side port, peeked and poked and left to rot.
How does bit rot affect SSD drives?
He drove his car to the edge of the west seeking a place to place an idea.
Wait…. google bit rot
Wookies and ewoks ARE NOT related. Wookies are totally cooler then ewoks, just not as cuddly.
Can I use jquery with .Net ajax? Google it!
I wonder if there is a subject that I can't google?
Dude…. it doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs to work.
Brain starts humming: She works hard for the money / So hard for it honey / She works hard for the money / So you better treat her right… who sang that? Oh Donna Summer!
Is it lunch time yet? I wonder what Diane is doing? I hope everything is going okay.
Wait… you are supposed to be writing code. Maybe  a select case would work better?
And off we go again. No focus. Some days I just wish my brain would slow down for  a couple of hours so I could get something done.
*Unassociated side note:  I have never read the book it was based on, but that running dialog in Matt Damon's head during "The Informant"? Yeah... it's like that.  I can't think of any other film that presented the state of a bi-polar mind during a manic episode better than that movie.

3 comments :

  1. Sorry you're feeling frustrated by the way your brain works. I actually quite liked that snippet! but not being able to accomplish what you want when you want is pretty darn frustrating. ((hugs)) and totally agree on the wookies vs ewoks

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  2. Sweet, feel your pain, it is no fun but don't feel alone. We all have days like that and periods. I sure got and many with me when stressed and we have nothing elso to blaim it on. You're doing mainly good and WILL bounch back! Just focus on life's small silverlinings until.

    *hugs* Linda

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  3. I <3 your code/poem. Muchly.

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