Random Musings - How To: Catch Up on Your Plurk Timeline

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

You have a problem. Your Plurk friends list is over 100 and each time you log in you are confronted with hundreds(1) of Plurks. You don't want to MAAR, so you resolve to read them all. As you journey through your timeline, trying desperately to respond to all those plurks, more keep piling up.

What to do? Don't worry, I got your back.  Just follow these 5 easy steps to ease your mind and de-clutter your timeline.

Step 1. Add your hello, good morning, good afternoon or good evening plurk. Sure, it's going to add to your timeline, but it's going to show up on someone else's, too.

Step 2. Click View, then click My Plurks. I know this seems selfish, but hey, we all do it. Right?
This usually isn't a huge number, so you can get through them quickly. Responding at this point is largely optional. If someone has replied to a question or said something nice you may want to thank them.

If someone has said something snarky, either leave a LOL or hit them with the taser (or chair if you have it). Hitting someone with a fish is a nice option, since it is both irreverent and signifies your almighty level 100 Karma.

Step 3. Click the Responded tab. Ignore all the plurks where you have responded to all those hello, good morning, good afternoon or good evening plurks. Just click them open and they get marked as read. You don't need to read them.

The only caveat to this, is if this plurk has evolved into something other than a hello, good morning, good afternoon or good evening plurk. If you have added something appropriately silly to this plurk and they plurk owner has responded to said silliness, then respond as you would in the previous step, or think of something to say that one-ups the previous remark.

Those other plurks you have responded to? Use your discretion. It is very likely that most of them are just LOL's, Dancing Bananas, or quick responses like "Interesting", "that's great" or "aww, how cute". Use the same technique as with hello, good morning, good afternoon or good evening plurks.

(I know, in the fifteen minutes that you have been doing Steps 1, 2 & 3, your responded, My Plurks & All Plurks have continued to increase. It's okay. Don't stress. We are almost done).

Step 4. So you have almost completed steps 2 & 3. Feel free to click those tabs at anytime to and repeat them. Now you are in the heart of the matter. All Plurks. The belly of the beast and the heart of good plurk eitquette. There is one unspoken rules to follow here. The rule is, try to respond to peoples plurks who have responded to yours, unless of course you have nothing to add.

Next, try to respond to all those new hello, good morning, good afternoon or good evening plurks. Now, I realize this can be a daunting task if you have a large friends list. If you have a massive list, follow the rule above. If someone doesn't usually respond to your hello, good morning, good afternoon or good evening plurks, then you don't need to respond the theirs.

All those Youtube videos, funny gifs, links to blog posts and articles? Well, I don't know what to tell you. There is no hard and fast rule, unless that person is a close friend or has recently read and commented on your blog. (2)

If you feel it necessary to follow every posted link, just give the article a quick perusal and "Like"(3) it so you can read in detail later. No need to comment, yet. The other plurks are probably largely personal. You should respond if you know the person well. 


Step 5. Now that you have completed step 4, you should be nice and caught up. Right? You're not? Simply follow steps 2-4, or, just MAAR and get on with your day.

(1.) If you have a thousand or more plurks to respond to, please either  A.) Log in to Plurk more often than once every six months. B.) Maybe plurk isn't your thing, so close your account. C.) Umm, really? Just say no. Seriously. Being popular is nice and all, but, that's a bit much. D.) Seek help. Now.
(2.) This depends on you, but try to be courteous. If you follow a link and it sucks, don't comment. Some things are best left unsaid. Of course, if it is someone you are comfortable with being honest or sarcastic with, then, don't tell them it sucks, rather leave some appropriately snarky observation and move on.
I think leaving a very sarcastic comment or an overly familiar comment on someone's plurk that you don't really know is not a good idea.
(3.) Is the new Like feature great or what. What a time saver. Bravo Plurk, bravo!

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